Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.  

~Michel de Montaigne


Though everything is now the past, everything that we have gone through in the past years of our friendship has gone to waste. Every sweet and unforgettable memory has become a thing in the past. Both of us don't even remember or reminiscent the past times that we have shared together. Sitting beside you was like remembering how it has changed so greatly between us again. We never stopped to look back at how many sweet times we had together. We made a promise of not letting anyone come between us. But in the end, we let ourselves come between each other, stubbornly refusing to reconcile until the end of 2009. But what i have hoped for has came true,reconciliation.  I thought that it would be the same between us again just u and i having happy times again, but i thought wrong. Maybe no one notices that it is now different between us, but i do. Every time i look at you, i feel like crying because of what i have done to hurt you. The things that i have done that hurt and disappointed u, those things left a scar on us both. You were once so innocent and happy, but because of me i caused you to become sad and indifferent. Guilt has finally sank into me about how much i have hurt you and how big a scar i have left on your precious heart. Maybe no one may see that scar, but i do. Sitting beside you and seeing that u were different and things are different between us, it made me very sad and regretful and guilty. Maybe if i had not even met you, i would not have hurt you in the first place. And now i am in a dilemma. I made a promise to myself that i would never hurt you ever with my empty promises. i never would hurt you cause i have learnt my lesson and will never repeat my terrible mistakes ever again. I hope that time will heal all our hearts and our relationship. Now i can only smile on the outside while inside my heart bleeds because of myself and my terrible mistakes.

Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to truth, but not its twin.  

~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams