Jealousy is just overtaking me so so much. I just see you trying to avoid me so much and trying to get close to someone else that i am jealous of. I cannot imagine how much i want to leave the room this week. But no i shall not let my own feelings stop me, i came to Step just to seek god and not to care about you. God is my provider and my best friend. I feel so so overly jealous of you and her always seeming like best friends. I feel so sad but i know i have God who cares and loves me for who i am. I sometimes wonder whether you are bored of me or you have formed a impression of me being either following you or boring. I am really very sad but i already feel so numb to whatever and wherever you are doing. Nobody may understand how i feel but i know God understands me from the inside out not you. you always thought that you knew me and understood me but i have to tell you right now that you are wrong. I have changed so much during the time that we were not that close.So you have no right to criticise me because you don't understand or care about me anymore. I have changed so much until think i have lost my old self in the process. I don't feel any happiness when i talk to you anymore, i don't know why. But i just need someone else not you by my side.

People always think that the most painful thing is losing the one you love in your life.
The truth is...The most painful part is Losing yourself in the process of loving so much then realized it wasn’t really worth it at all.