“I worked so hard for that first kiss
And a heart don’t forget something like that

Like an old photograph
Time can make a feeling fade
But the memory of a first love
Never fades away.” ~Tim Mcgraw

Maybe it was just me who was the one who kept pushing our relationship on. but now i feel like that steam engine that fuels our relationship has failed. It is as if we are getting more and more distant. Though we may sit beside each other on sundays and fridays, but it is just different and distant. I can only look up to God and ask Why must this happen. Maybe no one may see this blog post, but i hope that you see this blog so far and know that i am talking about you and missing you so much. It is as if you have became a different person since the year 2009 start. I regret being your best friend and yet hurting you so so much over 2009. I wish i could just erase all those sad and hurting times where i left a scar on your heart.I feel like only you were the one who truely understood me as a best friend. But now since we are very distant, I feel like everything that we shared the last years of our friendship have all gone down the drain together with our sad and hurting memories. Though we always share our honest opinions with one another, but you always stereotype me to be the girl who is always scared to speak up. I am just not the kind of person you think i am. I really have changed. God has been changing me from the inside out. I now am more and more courageous to speak up now. You know i made a resolution in 2009 31 december. I promised to God that i will change to become more courageous so that in the end you will say to me that i have changed and that you were wrong about me when you said i am not daring enough to speak my mind and that i hated to be corrected. You are so wrong about that. For those words really hurt me a lot as i thought you always understood me. But in the end, those words caused me to cry and to make a new resolution. I don't care what you think about me anymore, i will prove to you that i am more than what you think i was in 2009.

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson